Mom's dog Lucy

Isn't she cute? Mom got her the weekend of Mothers day. She was by mom's side through her last month of living, when we brought her back to Julies house Lucy would always be in her room or laying on her bed. Some times she actually got on my moms nerves :) she was invading her bubble :)

Lucy is now living with Julie, she is the new family pet :)

I got another Job

YAY!!! I'll be working at the courage center and coaching volleyball @ Benilde St. Margaret's. I'm also moving this weekend, downsizing big time because I lost my job while taking care of mom. But it was worth, I wouldn't change it for nothing!!

As far as my grief goes, I'm doing a lot better than I was before, the one on one therapy has done wonders for me and the group therapy has helped as well. I'm told I'm doing it the healthy way by acknowledging the grief and not barrying it inside until you explode. So I'm proud of that.

If anyone reads this, I hope all of you have a good day.

MOm showing us her port on Mothers day '06

Mom always had humor when it came to her cancer, she called her tumor timmy the tumor. She was always up, never down, although I could tell when she was in thought. In the hospital when she would look down at her hands while picking the skin off, I could tell she was thinking and I asked her what she was thinking about, she said "oh just stuff", she tried her hardest to be strong for us, I can only imagine what it must have felt inside for her. Wondering how her kids were going to be, if the grandkids would be okay. Her mind must have been going a mile a minute but she never showed it. She just embraced life and showed us how to live life, not take anything for granted, you just never know when you will take your last breath or when a tragedy will happen. Our family changed the day mom said " I have Pancreatic Cancer" our lives will never go back to the day before, always the day after. But we're going good.

I miss mom dearly

Mom and Kids :) all in purple! on XMAS

For some reason we all get something vikings every year. I gave mom what she's wearing and gave julie what she's wearing and gave rich what he's wearing and julie gave me what I am wearing. We always had so much fun on xmas, xmas was about making each other happy, waiting to see the look on peoples faces as they opened their presents. I always wanted mom to open my present first, she would always say to me "don't go spending a lot of money now" but for her there is never enough money I could have to buy her what she deserves. Xmas is going to be hard this year, every year, I dread the up coming holidays and birthdays. Hopefully we'll get through them okay.

Jerry

Since I know that nobody from Jerry's family is reading this I might as well tell every one what is going on.

Basically, he says we're selfish and that we are not getting a damn thing. He told my sister that we should have taken the stuff she wanted us to take on mothers day because we're not getting it now. On mothers day, Julie and I went to visit mom, she wanted us to take some stuff but we said, nah, we'll get it later. If we took it that would mean she was dying.

If I go to the farm he'll have me arrested, nice huh? We're going to be as nice as we can to him until we get our mothers stuff, then all bets are off, at least for me. I'm going to tell him exactly how it is. He's the one that's being selfish, he has everything, my mom paid for everything in life and now she's paying in death, he is a selfish son of a *B*

Mom had a life insurance policy for the grandkids, which was suppose to be put into my brothers name but I don't think she changed it, she also had one for us too but wasn't able to change it in time either. Basically, she really was in denial and honestly, we did not nor did the doctors think that she would go this quickly, when she was admitted to the hospital in may they said six months, turned out to be less then a month.

Once all this stuff with Jerry is over, mom will be able to enjoy her eternal life, I know she's enjoying it but I don't think she likes whats going on down here with Jerry.

Anyway, that's about it on that.

MIchelle

Michelle is now 5 months pregnant, she felt the baby kick for the first time las week. She is starting to show and looks great!! Can't wait to see my new great niece/nephew.

We're trying to get the quilt stuff from mom's farm from Jerry but he's not really being accomodating. Which really sucks.

New JOb

Wow, I"m pooped out, it was a lot of work but felt good to be out of the house and doing something to earn some money, don't get paid enough but that's always how it goes.

I'm going to be moving into a new place this weekend, it's 600 amonth rent with heat included, I was paying 1000 with everything but water and trash, so this is going to help me out quite a bit. Maybe the dogs will get a treat now.

I've been going to therapy 2 times a week and group therapy once a week, it's working really well, I'm pretty good at knowing what to do when the anger starts and depression, I'm trying hard to notice the signs.

Hope everyone is doing well

2 months

Saturday was 2 months since she past away. I pretty much laid low most of the day then went to Julies to watch a movie. The day went okay, I did have tears, I have tears every day and I'm sure I always will.

Michelle is pregnant, due January 29th but I told her she'll have it on my bday Feb 8. Nathan and Marissa start school soon, Herschel also starts school at St. Paul Tech soon.

Jerry told me that moms head stone should be done with in a month or so, I know when it's done I'll go up there to see it.

New Journey

I have started this site for anyone who is interested in my life as well as my families life after the death of my mom, how we are doing and going on with out her.